DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN I proposed to my new wife, I didn’t expect to end up married to her parents too.
But nine months into our marriage, it feels like there are four people in our relationship – me, her and her mum and dad.
I’m 30 and my wife is 28.
I knew she was close to her parents when we got together. But they have far too much control over our lives.
She insists on spending every weekend with them and speaks to them on the phone every evening, sometimes several times.
They pop round unannounced – which she doesn’t seem to mind.
She also takes their advice on everything from where we go on holiday to what curtains we should get.
I’m so fed up with it that it’s causing arguments, and negatively affecting our marriage.
Yet when I try to talk to her about it, she can’t see the problem.
I love her but I don’t want to live in her parents’ shadows for the rest of my life. What can I do?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: It’s important to iron out this problem now, because one thing is certain, if you have children, it will become more challenging.
Sit down calmly with your wife and explain to her that while you like her parents, you’re now a team of two.
Suggest that you need to establish boundaries with her parents. For example, that you see them every other weekend, and they don’t come round unless it’s pre-arranged.
For more advice, contact Family Lives (familylives.org.uk).
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