Should I tell my long-term girlfriend that I secretly wear women’s underwear?

DEAR DEIDRE: I WANT to tell my girlfriend I wear women’s underwear but I am not sure what her reaction would be.

I am a 29-year-old man, my girlfriend is 27 and we have been together for just over a year and get on brilliantly. We have been talking about moving in together.

But what she doesn’t know is that I secretly wear knickers. I have been wearing them for years, but I have kept it private.

On the days I know I am not seeing her I will almost always wear a lacy thong under my guy clothes.

I even wore a pink bra and thong to work the other day under my suit.

I so want to tell her before we move in but I worry I will lose her because she will be horrified and dump me on the spot. I’ve only ever told one girlfriend, and she couldn’t handle it.

I’m scared this will happen again, but I’m sick of living a lie.

I keep wondering whether it would be easier to let her “catch” me in the act.

Could I just keep doing this in secret, or should I try to stop this?

Can some women accept a man who likes to wear women’s underwear?

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DEIDRE SAYS: It is up to you what underwear you want to wear and many men enjoy cross-dressing.

Some women are accepting of a man’s need to do this. Talking to your girlfriend about it is the only way that you can find out if she could accept your kink.

If she cannot accept it, do not be tempted to say you will stop. This is a part of your personality.

It would help if you could talk to an expert first, someone who understands the issues involved and can reassure you.

My support pack Worried About Cross-Dressing? will help you explain to her.