CIARA MAGEEAN has revealed he is moving home as she plots a course to the next Olympics.
And she has insisted it was always in her mind to do so – and compete at LA – but that missing out on Paris had provided her with more ‘fire in her belly’.
The Portaferry woman took gold in the 1,500m at the European Championships and had hopes of first podium finish at the Olympics.
But she had to pull out because of the worsening of an ankle problem which she has since had surgery on.
Describing her devastation at being forced to withdraw, Mageean said: “In those moments I felt like I was drowning, that it was just a void.
“But a few people were my rocks that I could clamber onto, and just keep me afloat, and I’m very fortunate to have had them.
“I just felt numb. It wasn’t even sadness, it was just emptiness. I didn’t know how to feel.
“I think a lot of people thought I was going to retire. My daddy had his arm around me and he’s like, ‘Right we’ll call it a day. You come home, you go watch the hurling with me, you can get a dog finally. And be done with all this.
“I said ‘what are you talking about? I’m not retiring yet, there’s another Olympics in four years’ time and I’ve only gotten faster over the past few years so I’m determined to be back’.
“Sport is a little microcosm of life. You experience all the emotions other people get throughout their lives all in one little season, or one little sporting career.
“There’s been a few moments in my life where I’ve felt sheer grief and loss – the loss of my grandmother when I was at university, she died far too young. Whenever Jerry Kiernan passed away and I was in Manchester.
“It always feels kind of crass to compare sport to that but it quite often gives you the same emotions. It was a grief to have the loss of a dream.
“It’s my life’s work and it’s everything that I’ve put all of my energy into but also all of those people around me have put their lives and things on pause and on hold to pursue my dreams.”
Most notably they include her boyfriend Thomas Moran who helped her to make up her mind that she had to pull out of this summer’s Olympics.
Having previously gotten surgery more than a decade ago because of bone spurs on her left ankle, they had developed on her right to the point that it was no longer a case of running through the pain barrier.
She said: “The function in my ankle was affected because I couldn’t toe off, I was trying to stride and put my foot down and it was just flat.
“I wouldn’t have confidence that I would finish the race.
“I sat in the village with Thomas and said ‘If I don’t toe the line, I am not a three-time Olympian. Thomas reminded me that I was not here just to show up, I was here to be competitive.
“Thomas sat beside me, we had a hug and he said, you’re still European gold medallist from this year, you got your gold medal finally in Rome and Italy was a very special place for Jerry.
“And he said ‘maybe it’s meant to be. LA was Jerry’s Olympics so we’re going to focus on that’.”
Moran also suggested they move home, ending her seven-year stint with Team New Balance Manchester, although she remains a New Balance athlete.
The 32-year-old is busy assembling a coaching group for her to base herself out of Belfast which she says will involve Mark Kirk and using the Sport Ireland supports in Dublin.
But it will be spearheaded by her, believing she has gained the necessary expertise to do so, with the World Championships in Tokyo next September her target.
She said: “Throughout my career, my connection to home and the pride that I have in the Irish vest has been a super-power and I think for me having my feet back on Irish soil will be a super-power too.
“I’m really excited for this next chapter and Ciara 3.0.”
