GUESS what – it’s not just fellas who fancy a bit of how’s your father, or even grandfather, with a younger lover.
Experts at the University of California surveyed more than 6,000 men and women aged 22 to 85 and challenged received wisdom by finding that both sexes enjoy being the older partner.
Experts have found that both sexes enjoy being the older partner[/caption]
Priyanka Chopra, 42, and husband Nick Jonas, 32[/caption]
The researchers say that while women often tend to settle down with older – and maybe wiser or richer – men, it can be a different story when it comes to intimacy.
Professor Paul Eastwick, who led the study, said: “This will be shocking to many.”
In new erotic thriller Babygirl, Nicole Kidman, 57, plays a CEO who romps with a young intern.
Similarly, Madonna, 66, is 38 years older than her latest toyboy, soccer player Akeem Morris, and Cher, 78, has 40 years on music-executive boyfriend Alexander Edwards.
It can end in marriage, too.
Actress Priyanka Chopra, 42, is ten years the senior of rocker husband Nick Jonas, while film director Sam Taylor-Johnson, 57, is 23 years further down the road than actor husband Aaron.
Here, Kate Mulvey, 62, who has dated 15 toyboys and is the author of How To Date A Younger Man: The Cougar’s Guide To Cub Hunting, tells why dating toyboys beats any anti-ageing cream . . .
LAST year I met a man 20 years younger than me and the sex with him was mind-blowing.
He reignited the long-lost libido in me and I felt like I had won the Lottery.
I found somebody who took me to places I had never been before.
The sexy kitten in me had been hidden under domestic drudgery but he pulled her out.
He was more appreciative and less resentful than men my own age. He was also physically fitter — at the peak of his maleness and full of youthful testosterone.
I soon stopped obsessing over grey hairs and bought new, flirty underwear.
When it came to the moment of truth, there was some anxiety.
I got undressed the first time with my back to him. But for these men it’s not just about body parts — they see something exciting, sophisticated and thrilling.
I was worried about disrobing in case he expected me to look like a porn star.
But keeping on a bit of lace does wonders for male desire.
It’s not a jungle down there but I told him what he was seeing was natural.
Sam Taylor-Johnson, 57 and husband Aaron, 34[/caption]
It helps to have a sense of humour about these things — getting embarrassed is not a good look.
Now I always keep a bottle of wine or champagne chilling in the fridge to help smooth over those moments.
I had always dated age-appropriate men until my mid-forties.
But when my fiancé failed to set a date for our wedding, I called off the engagement and joined up with a dating agency.
I’d got sick of him rubbernecking every time a blonde young enough to be his daughter walked through the door.
And then one day he said, “Your breasts are fine but a bit droopy” — and that was fatal.
I went on one date with a divorcee my own age but when he clumsily lunged at me in the back of a taxi, I pulled back in disgust and he said: “You’re no spring chicken.” That was it.
After a couple of family bereavements, and menopause, I was feeling like a dried-up old prune, and my ego was on the floor.
He unleashed my sexy side and reminded me it’s not all over.
Kate Mulvey
But very quickly my inbox was flooded with romantic missives from younger men.
At first I couldn’t believe it — but they idolise you.
We might see an old hag in the mirror but they see something exotic and different — they see a goddess.
I had resigned myself to living like a nun but am now having the last laugh. A 23-year-old man charmed me, wooed me and made me feel giddy.
He unleashed my sexy side and reminded me it’s not all over.
As older women, we have something to teach young men, and the whole dynamic is like a breath of fresh air.
I felt self-conscious at first but he soon banished all my hang-ups about my body and I felt desirable again.
If you go cougar-hunting you have to turn off the body noise and stop being afraid to show yourself off.
Alexander Edwards, 38 and partner Cher, 78[/caption]
Nicole Kidman, 57, plays a CEO who romps with a young intern in erotic thriller Babygirl[/caption]
We danced in a cocktail bar, and even though nobody else was dancing, he wasn’t embarrassed — he said he felt proud of me.
We laughed and held hands in the street.
We snogged for ages, and I couldn’t believe what I had been missing.
But be prepared for rival cougars sharpening their claws — statistics show 25 per cent of women over 40 have dated a younger man, so there is plenty of competition out there.
I understand why.
While men older than me tend to shuffle, my toyboy would swagger into a room and grab me for what I called the throwdown — a way of pulling me toward him for a Hollywood kiss like in Gone With The Wind.
There was nothing aggressive about it — it was just pure sexy male dominance and all my girlfriends were jealous.
My friends said he could not possibly love me, some said it was disgusting and others tried to flirt with him — but the feelings are certainly real while they last.
Plenty of stamina
I know better than to start looking at wedding dresses but I would still rather be with a self-assured toyboy with plenty of stamina than a balding pensioner with erectile dysfunction.
Relationships with older women work for them, too, because we don’t whine and ask where things are going — we don’t want to put labels on it, we just want to have fun.
A baby is out of the question. It’s less intense.
We have been around the block and understand what life’s about.
Unencumbered by angst, grocery shopping and unpaid bills, we can be spontaneous and concentrate on each other.
There was a time when older women dating much younger men was seen as a bit off-putting, despite the fact that for yonks men have been stepping out with girls as young as their granddaughters.
Chubby Jack Nicholson and Leonardo DiCaprio frolicking in the waves with women 30 years younger didn’t even raise an eyebrow.
But fast-forward to today and, hallelujah, it’s a brand-new world.
The dynamic has been flipped on its head, and now we are looking at the emergence of younger men dating older women — and for some of us that’s a badge of honour.
Young men are gorgeous and now, at long last, women are smashing the oldest taboo.
How to be the perfect cougar
SNARING your young stud is one thing, but keeping him interested can be quite another. So here are five hot tips for the older woman . . .
- Stop obsessing about the flabby bits and learn the art of conceal-and- reveal when it comes to dressing for dates. Don’t be tempted to press the mutton button with tight leather and leopard-print – you want to look sophisticated and not slutty.
- Don’t behave like girls their age. If men wanted to be doing shots in nightclubs they would, and by the time you’re naked they’re too turned on to care whether you’ve had a Brazilian wax or not.
- Ditch the old-lady behaviour like wearing ear-plugs or eyemasks, and saying you need to be in bed by 10pm. Instead, invest in a lacy nightdress and book a hotel room away from your clutter at home.
- Don’t be embarrassed if you mention music or movies that they have never heard of – make a joke of it, and Google them together.
- Keep it fun and know when to move on to the next toyboy. Don’t expect these romances to last for ever, as most men will want marriage and children eventually.
