IT’S Friday night and Toni Jones is downing pints of Prosecco.
And this happens every week – at least it was until January 1, 2024, when Toni decided enough was enough.
She then challenged herself to stay sober for 365 days – and she’s never felt better.
“I wanted to free myself from alcohol,” the 47-year-old, from Norfolk, says.
“And it’s the best thing I have ever done.”
Toni, founder of The Shelf Help Club, discovered the booze buzz as a teenager and was instantly hooked.
She spent years partying hard, regularly waking up having forgotten last night’s antics.
“I was drunk or hungover for at least 20 years,” she says.
“I was born to a disinterested and alcoholic dad, who was estranged by the time I was in my late 20s.
“He’d escaped to Thailand to drink himself to death by my early 30s.
“I started binge drinking in high school as a way to self-medicate through messy family stuff – plus I came of age in the ladette era.
“I developed a very toxic relationship with alcohol.
“But I was unable to give up binge drinking for a long time – even when I started to understand how much it was hurting me mentally and physically.
“Sometimes it was fun. But usually I would push it past the ‘fun’ zone and instead use it as a way to literally ‘get out of my head’, using my stressful job as an excuse.”
Drinking daily
At the time Toni worked in the media industry, which she says only made her drinking worse.
“Being drunk and then hungover was very much part of the social landscape, so I would often be drinking daily,” she says.
“I was usually out with other people who were also drinking to excess regularly, so it didn’t seem dangerous – though I know now it was.
“A lot of the events we attended hosted free bars, and we would drink whatever was going – usually awful warm wine.”
But the beverage she could never say no to was Prosecco.
“As a baby Gen Xer, it was my favourite,” Toni adds. “The local pub near our office served it in pints!
“I also loved skinny b****es (vodka, lime and soda), and all kinds of pretentious cocktails.
“I never seemed to realise that expensive drinks were still going to give me a hangover.”
It wasn’t until her late 30s that Toni even noticed the impact it was having on her.
‘Sozzled’ before check-in
Aside from after-work drinks, Toni also loved getting hammered on holiday.
She says: “Drinking while travelling used to be a no-brainer for me, often starting at the airport.
“On occasion, like while on a hen do to Ibiza, before the flight we’d get sozzled on mini bottles of wine in the airport hotel so that the 6am EasyJet departure time wouldn’t be too painful.
“Unsurprisingly, it was a horrible flight and I wasn’t able to properly enjoy the weekend.
“Until 2024, any time I had flown long haul I would reach immigration already hungover (and majorly dehydrated), willing the passport queues to disappear so that I could just fall into bed, instead of enjoying the new city I was in.
“We spent one New Year’s Eve in Hong Kong, full on partying ahead of flying to a health retreat in Thailand in early January.
“At check-in in Koh Samui, the staff were visibly grimacing at the state of us.
“This kind of retox:detox very much summed up my relationship with alcohol (and myself) – I was all ‘party hard, work hard and repeat’.”
‘Dry-tripping’
As part of her new sober adventure, Toni went on several zero-alcohol trips last year (often call dry-trips), including one to Miami – a destination known for its alcohol-fuelled nightlife.
But this holiday was a turning point, which made her realise she simply didn’t need booze to have a good time.
“Previously, I have always drunk alcohol on holidays, seeing it as an integral part of any trip – starting with airport beers then having Bloody Marys on the plane,” she says.
“But this all changed when I went to Miami – somewhere I’ve visited several times before, with my husband and also friends.
“It has a reputation as being a party city, and previously I have embraced that side of it.
I asked the hotel to remove the mini bar from my room and stayed away from bars as much as I could
Toni Jones
“But this time, I arrived sober and left feeling great, after swapping late nights and cocktails for early mornings and juices.
“It was a really different holiday experience and made me realise that time off in the sunshine is something to celebrate, and doesn’t need booze to make it better.”
Resisting ‘trigger’ temptation
Not that it’s all been easy, and Toni admits she’s had to work hard at times to stay on the right track.
She says: “A holiday for me is full of triggers to drink, so I had to do a bit of planning to make sure I could avoid as many of them as possible.
“I asked the hotel to remove the mini bar from my room and stayed away from bars as much as I could.
“We went for glamorous breakfasts and brunches instead of dinners, and I made sure that I had a couple of ‘go-to’ alcoholic-free drink choices – ‘AF’ beer, root beer, and iced coffee.
“One of the biggest challenges was being poolside and hearing the sound of cocktail shakers.
“Also, it was difficult to resist happy hour offers and the groups of loud, tipsy friends hanging out on the boardwalk.
“However, Miami is a pretty expensive destination, so not drinking saved me hundreds of dollars which worked out in my favour.
Now I sleep like a baby, wake up without an alarm, and literally (annoyingly for my husband) jump out of bed excited for the new day
Toni Jones
“After not drinking, I felt truly relaxed and rejuvenated – like you’re supposed to when you come back from a holiday.
“I really enjoyed the long days and early nights, feeling energised and positive, and I was able to get over jet lag pretty quickly.
“I also had the mental space to spend time making exciting plans for when I got home.
“And not drinking alcohol on a long-haul flight was a huge revelation. The benefits were truly worth it.”
Booze-free benefits
Since going sober, Toni has seen improvements in every aspect of her life.
She has saved thousands of pounds, has far more energy, and she even looks significantly healthier.
“I do get a lot of comments on my general ‘glow’ – my healthy skin and bright eyes and an aura of contentment and calm,” she says.
“Money-wise, I’d say I’ve saved at least £200 a month – so about £2,500, when you take into account bottles of wine in the supermarket and rounds of drinks on nights out.”
But the single best thing to come out of giving booze up? Sleep!
“Mornings are amazing now,” Toni says.
“I used to dread them. But now I sleep like a baby, wake up without an alarm, and literally (annoyingly for my husband) jump out of bed excited for the new day.”
“Looking back on my drinking ‘career’ I feel sad about all the missed opportunities,” she adds.
“I run my own business and I feel like I could’ve started working on my dream life and job much, much sooner if I’d given myself the headspace and clarity.
“I’ve also lost a lot of cash – I have spent so much money on nothing – and I mistreated myself for years.
“But my biggest regret is the amount of time that I wasn’t properly present; for friends, family, life experiences, and myself.
“I can see now that the drunk or hungover version of me is not how I want to show up in the world.”
Living a ‘happy, sober life’
Alcohol consumption is declining in the UK.
In 2011, the Health Survey for England found 54 per cent of adults drank booze at least once a week.
But years later in 2022, that number dropped to 48 per cent.
Today, around 20 per cent of the population don’t drink at all, according to Alcohol Change.
So while decades ago, people may have quizzed you on why you were drinking lemonade not beer in the pub, it’s now much more accepted.
Removing alcohol from my life is the best thing I could have done for my mental and physical health
Toni Jones
“The only negative or judgemental comments I’ve received have been from people I don’t know,” Toni says.
“Anyone who knows me has been majorly supportive – if a little incredulous – and because I am getting on with my life and doing pretty much everything I used to do.
“Lots of them are seeing the benefits and understanding you don’t need to become a hermit or identify as being ‘in recovery’ to live a happy, sober life.
“Lots of people are interested in if or when I’m going to start drinking again (plot spoiler: I don’t think I am), but I welcome the comments and to ask anyone who’s interested in why I’m not drinking, why they are?”
Toni’s top tips
“If you’re serious about quitting drinking, even for a bit, get clear on your ‘why’ and then set yourself a goal,” Toni Jones says.
“For example, commit to Dry January or Sober October instead of simply saying, ‘I really should drink less at the weekend’, which is too vague and non-committal.
“Treating it as an experiment with a limited timeframe (vs ‘one day at a time’ for the rest of your life) makes it less overwhelming.
“Once you’ve reached the deadline you’ll probably find that you’re liking your new sober self too much to stop.
“I’ve been trying non-drinking stints on and off for nine years so it has definitely been a process, but deciding on this one-year challenge has been brilliant because from January 1, 2024, I became a non-drinker and booze was no longer an option for me for at least one year.
“I did things to help the transition, like stocking up on alcohol-free drinks and getting rid of booze in the house.
“I also read a lot of ‘quit lit’ and addiction memoirs, and I’ve been keeping a journal, recording how I’m feeling, the biggest triggers, and sober wins each month.
“When you set yourself a challenge, be it one, six or 12 months, tell everyone – including the internet.
“This kind of accountability is really motivating, and you’ll be amazed by how many people you’ll inspire by being open about it.
“Challenge yourself to do everything sober at least once, be it a wedding, hen do, work do, Friday night out, or whatever.
“Once you’ve done it, you’ll see that the world keeps turning, and you’ll also probably really enjoy how you feel the morning after, so be likely to be motivated to do it again.
“Mornings are your new friends!”
Free from alcohol
Toni, an avid traveller working with Omio, adds: “I’ve been thinking about, and attempting, short stints of alcohol-free living for almost 10 years.
“Since I interviewed the founders of an organisation called Club Soda back in 2015 and started learning more about the idea of ‘mindful drinking’, it inspired me to look at my drinking habits.
“Over the last decade, I’ve also been on a personal journey of healing and self-development, finally admitting to myself that removing alcohol from my life would be the best thing I could do for my mental and physical health.
“I felt like 12 months was a good time to start to free myself from alcohol and create new healthy habits, as well as to try everything sober at least once, including holidays.
“The saying that ‘you don’t need a drink to have’ is 100 per cent true, although sometimes that fun just looks a little bit different.
“On this holiday I made different choices, such as going for a swim in the ocean versus getting drunk at a rooftop bar.
“And – as my friend Jack says – not drinking is only boring if you have boring friends, so if you want to keep having fun then plan interesting things with great people.”
‘Not drinking is only boring if you have boring friends,’ Toni says[/caption]
