DEAR DEIDRE: MY mate’s stag weekend has turned into a total nightmare after I got a woman pregnant.
I’m 31 and have a girlfriend of 27. We’ve been together for two years.
All my mates are at the age where they’re settling down, including my best mate, who was getting married.
We arranged a brilliant stag weekend for him in Barcelona.
On the second night there, the conversation turned to cheating. I said, “Hand on heart, I’ve never cheated”, and my mates roared with laughter. It turns out they had all cheated on partners at some time.
A group of women showed up in the bar where we were and joined us.
It was friendly banter but, as the night went on, one of them said she had to go back to their apartment to get medication she needed.
The guys were cajoling me to go with her, hoping that I’d finally lose my “cheating virginity”.
I’m always a gentleman and felt it wasn’t right that she walked alone at night in a strange place, so I volunteered to accompany her.
As we walked through some gardens, it was very quiet and she turned to kiss me.
I stupidly responded. We had sex on a bench. I felt so guilty, though. We sorted ourselves out and walked back to her apartment without saying a word.
Now, my worst-case scenario has happened. The woman, who is 23, made contact on social media, saying she’s pregnant and I’m the dad.
My girlfriend can’t abide cheats — we’ve talked about our loyalty towards one another.
I’m a first-class idiot and I don’t know what to do.
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DEIDRE SAYS: The ball is in this other woman’s court. Only she can decide if she wants to go ahead with the pregnancy. If she does, explain that you want a DNA test once the baby is born.
If the child is yours, then you will be responsible financially – and preferably, emotionally.
A child deserves two loving parents so, even if you can’t be with the mother, it doesn’t mean you can’t be a good father.
It is worth thinking about whether you can postpone talking to your girlfriend until you can do a DNA test. If you think she may find out beforehand, it would be best that she hears the truth from you.
You’ll have to beg for forgiveness and may have to accept that this relationship is over, no matter what the outcome.
