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DEAR DEIDRE: NO matter what I do, I can’t seem to escape sexually arousing images, and it’s getting in the way of my life.

Everywhere I look, whether it’s on social media, in magazines, or on TV, I’m constantly reminded about my porn addiction, and I’m worried about how far it’ll go.

I’m a 28-year-old single man, and I’ve been watching porn since I was in my teens.

At first, it was only something I enjoyed occasionally, but over time it’s grown into a huge problem.

Now I find myself watching porn every chance I get and will even sneak off into public toilets just to masturbate. 

My addiction is getting so out of hand that no matter how hard I try, sex with a real person doesn’t even turn me on anymore.

I can’t stand what it’s doing to me, and I’ve been trying so hard to detox from it all, but there are reminders everywhere that trigger me.

I have no self-control, and it’s starting to make me feel so bad about myself. 

At this point I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to have a loving sexual relationship with another woman. 

My dream is to have sex with a girlfriend and be totally in the moment – not thinking of films I’ve seen.

Why can’t I stop watching this stuff?

DEIDRE SAYS: Recognising that you have a problem is the first step.

Online porn is designed to be addictive, to encourage you to keep going back more regularly and eventually pay for the content.

At the same time users often become dependent on their own touch, so no other real-life experiences have the same effect.

But don’t despair – this is something you can work on and move on from.

Try the Kick Start Recovery Programme, which provides self-help for sex and porn addiction (www.sexaddictionhelp.co.uk).

My support packs, Internet Pornography Worry, also has plenty of advice.

THE Duke and Duchess of Sussex have released a statement on the California fires.

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, who now live in Montecito after absolving themselves of their Royal duties, have posted on their website about the crisis.

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The California wildfires have seen thousands evacuated with multiple casualties[/caption]

On Sussex.com, the pair wrote: “In the last few days, wildfires in Southern California have raged through neighborhoods and devastated families, homes, schools, medical care centers, and so much more – affecting tens of thousands from all walks of life.

“A state of emergency has been issued.

“If you feel compelled to help, here are some resources and ideas.

“If a friend, loved one, or pet has to evacuate and you are able to offer them a safe haven in your home, please do.

“And be sure to check in with any disabled or elderly neighbors to see if they need help evacuating.

“Some families and people have been left with nothing. Please consider donating clothing, children’s toys & clothing, and other essentials.

“The American Red Cross is on the ground helping those in need.”

More to follow… For the latest news on this story keep checking back at The Sun Online

Thesun.co.uk is your go-to destination for the best celebrity news, real-life stories, jaw-dropping pictures and must-see video.

Like us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/thesun and follow us from our main Twitter account at @TheSun.

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The Duke and Duchess of Sussex have releqased a statement on the California fires.[/caption]

DEAR DEIDRE: MY best friend has completely shut me out since I tackled her about her polyamorous relationship. 

She is getting married next month and I felt I had to tell her I was worried after I discovered her secret.

But she got angrier than I’ve ever seen when I spoke up. I’m no longer her maid of honour and she’s told me to ‘keep my nose out’.

I’m 32, and my friend is 33.

I had been worrying about her as she’d become a little distant and trying to get a conversation out of her has been like pulling teeth.

She always dismissed me, saying she was simply stressed with wedding planning.

Then another friend confided in me that my best friend’s fiance had asked her if she fancied ‘a quickie’ explaining they had opened up their relationship. 

The friend had refused and also felt worried for our friend.

We both questioned whether they should be getting married, considering this new development, and also whether it would be the right environment for children.

I agreed to talk to our friend and she confessed they were both seeing other people alongside each other. 

She told me it had made their relationship and sex life better than ever and she felt more alive than ever.

Taken aback she lost it with me, calling me judgmental, simply because I asked if her fiance had pushed her into it. She said she’d kept it from me because she knew I’d make her feel ashamed.

I don’t even know if I’m welcome at her wedding now.

How do I fix this?

DEIDRE SAYS: It’s natural that you’re concerned about your friend, especially as she has become withdrawn. 

This could be because she wanted their polyamorous relationship to remain private, alternatively she may have shut you out because she herself is uncomfortable with the arrangement.

All you can do is let her know you only want to check she is completely happy with their new relationship status. Tell her you love her and will be there whenever she wants to talk to you. 

If she has completely shut you out, I’m afraid there isn’t a lot more you can do.

The ball is well and truly in her court.

Some couples enjoy a long and happy polyamorous relationship, but both must be willing participants.

If you would like to learn more, More Than Two: A Practical Guide To Ethical Polyamory is a good book and place to start.

RICHARD Hammond had been sleeping in a converted barn on his family’s castle estate after splitting from his wife.

The ex-Top Gear host announced he and Amanda “Mindy” are separating after 28 years together.

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Mindy and Richard Hammond[/caption]

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The ex-Top Gear host has moved out of the family home[/caption]

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Mindy Hammond, Isabella, Willow and Richard at the Global Champions Tour at Royal Hospital Chelsea in August 2018[/caption]

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Hammond announced their split on X/Twitter[/caption]

It is believed Mindy is asking to keep their £7million Bollitree Castle estate, in Herefordshire, as they draw up divorce settlements.

The Sun understands that newspaper columnist Mindy, 59, demanded the divorce after a source claimed she “wanted him gone”.

The news was shared by Grand Tour star Hammond, 55, on an X account shared by the pair.

The couple said: “A little update from us; this Christmas we were together as a family and this year we will still be a family but just structured a bit differently.

“Our marriage is coming to end, but we’ve had an amazing 28 years together and two incredible daughters.

“We will always be in each other’s lives and are proud of the family we created.

“We won’t be commenting further and sincerely hope that our privacy and that of our children will be respected at this time. With Love, Richard and Mindy.”

It is believed Mindy is asking to keep their £7million Bollitree Castle estate, in Herefordshire, as they draw up divorce settlements.

The source told The Sun: “Richard is very upset about all this. It seems he has tried hard to rekindle the relationship but to no avail.

“There is no speculation that any third party is involved.”

Richard is understood to be currently staying at rented digs in a pretty village nearby where he runs his ‘Smallest Cog’ car restoration garage.

Prior to this, he is reported to have been sleeping in the converted barn.

Mindy is proposing Richard keeps their holiday home in Buttermere in the Lake District, and his flat in London, as part of their settlement agreement.

But she is also said to have asked for a share in their horses, and an annual stipend of £500,000.

Mindy has further requested a half share in his businesses; including the Smallest Cog and their TV production company Chimp Productions, of which she is a director.

The couple met in 1995 and Richard wrote previously in his autobiography, On The Edge: My Story: “In an instant, I fell in love with her and realised I had met my soul-mate and best friend for life.”

After they tied the knot in 2002, the pair snapped up a grade II listed Bollitree Castle in 2008.

It boasts six bedrooms, a swimming pool and 20 acres of land.

Despite Richard’s on screen presence, the pair have largely kept their relationship, and two daughters, out of the limelight.

Their eldest daughter Izzy, 24, works alongside her dad at his garage and the due record episodes for their podcast Who We Are Now.

Meanwhile, younger sister Willow, 22, is a keen horsewoman and lives separately, the source revealed.

It’s estimated their father, a former Top Gear legend alongside Jeremy Clarkson and James May, has a net worth of around £70million.

Richard, known as ‘The Hamster’ on the show, has an impressive car collection including a Ford Mustang, Porsche, Lotus Esprit Sport and a 1931 Lagona, as well as a Bentley.

In 2009 he treated himself to a £150K helicopter that he used to commute to and from his £2.5m Herefordshire home.

He recently bought a £170,000 convertible Porsche 911 Turbo S with the personal plate DICK H which he shows off in his social media videos.

Richard found fame on local radio before landing the plum job on Top Gear and going on to present The Grand Tour on Amazon for a reported £7million salary.

He also presented Brainiac and Total Wipeout.

In 2006 he miraculously survived a 288mph crash in a jet-powered car while filming a segment for Top Gear.

He was airlifted to Leeds General Infirmary’s neurological unit where he remained in a coma for two weeks.

It was touch and go on whether he would survive and Mindy revealed that he didn’t recognise her when he woke up.

Richard revealed that because of his brain injury he has suffered memory loss, depression and sometimes finds it hard to “connect emotionally”.

On June 10, 2017, Richard had to be airlifted to hospital after cheating death again in another crash in Switzerland while filming The Grand Tour.

He was driving a supercar worth £2million for the Amazon show when he lost control before it flipped and then burst into flames.

Luckily, Richard escaped with only a fractured knee.

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Richard and Mindy at Cheltenham Festival in 2022[/caption]

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Richard worked for years alongside Jeremy Clarkson and James May on Top Gear and then The Grand Tour[/caption]

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DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER my fiancée’s mother was diagnosed with terminal breast cancer, I was so supportive when she wanted her to move in with us.

They were so close, so I knew how hard it was for her, and I tried to do everything I could to help. 

However, as her mum’s condition deteriorated, the more distant she became, and eventually she decided to end things with me. 

I begged her to reconsider, but she told me that she simply had no time for me anymore and that it was unfair of her to keep the relationship going any longer. 

Knowing how much she was going through, I decided to move into the spare room in case she needed me. 

It’s been confusing as fell back into bed together a couple of times. 

Now I’m at a loss for what to do. I know deep down she still loves me, but is it better if I just let her go?

DEIDRE SAYS: It’s clear your ex is going through an emotionally challenging and stressful time. 

Grieving someone who’s still alive is incredibly difficult, especially if you’re caring for them.

Have you had that heart-to-heart conversation, and have you told her that you are prepared to wait? If not, you need to have this discussion. 

Hopefully this can help you gain some clarity on the situation.

In the meantime it would be best if you stopped the intimacy and took a step back. If you decide not to rekindle, sleeping with each other will only make your situation harder to deal with.

FORMER Tottenham goalkeeper Pau Lopez has seen a transfer sensationally fall through… just a day after it was officially announced.

The Spaniard, 30, spent the 2016-17 season on loan at White Hart Lane.

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Pau Lopez was announced as a new signing by RC Lens[/caption]

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He played the role of third choice at Spurs behind Hugo Lloris and Michel Vorm.

Tottenham denied the opportunity to sign Lopez permanently and he has since gone on to play for Real Betis, Roma and Marseille – in addition to earning two Spain caps.

Last summer, Lopez signed for Girona on loan from Marseille.

He has endured a frustrating first half of the season, having to play second fiddle to fellow ex-Tottenham stopper Paulo Gazzaniga.

Lopez has played just once for the Catalan side, in their 4-3 Copa del Rey exit at the hands of UD Logrones.

Yesterday it was announced that Lopez’s Girona loan would be cancelled, and that he would be heading to Ligue 1 side RC Lens for the remainder of the season.

RC Lens, who are managed by Will Still, recruited Lopez to be their No.1, after letting former Nottingham Forest goalkeeper Brice Samba join Rennes.

The French side announced the transfer alongside pictures of Lopez in their shirt.

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Lopez trained alongside Hugo Lloris and Michel Vorm[/caption]

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Brice Samba was previously RC Lens’ first choice[/caption]

He had been expected to begin training today, only for Girona to throw a spanner in the works.

An RC Lens statement confirmed: “While a full agreement had been reached between Racing Club de Lens, Olympique de Marseille and Pau Lopez, the arrival of the Spanish international has been cancelled.

“Girona FC informed Olympique de Marseille today of its firm intention to keep the player until 29 January, an unacceptable condition for Racing, which is thus giving up on this signing.”

Marseille posted a statement of their own, explaining why Girona blocked the deal.

It read: “On Tuesday January 7, OM sent Girona FC the draft agreement for the early termination of the temporary transfer.

“Pau Lopez has successfully completed his medical and signed his employment contract with RC Lens, as well as the new loan agreement between RC Lens and OM.

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‘QUICKLY DELETED’

“OM, which is strongly committed to respecting contractual commitments and sporting regulations, has never countersigned the loan agreement with RC Lens, pending the signed return of Girona FC.

“Despite the absence of a definitive commitment from all parties, the communication departments of RC Lens and OM decided, in view of their regular collaboration, to announce the arrival of the Spanish goalkeeper at RC Lens, welcoming the new challenge offered to Pau Lopez in our Ligue 1 Championship.

“This premature communication, initiated by RC Lens, was made without any legal validation and was therefore quickly deleted by OM.

“When contacted by OM on the evening of Tuesday 7th January, Girona FC indicated that it would return the agreement for early termination of the loan the same evening or the following morning.

‘JUSTIFIED’

“Finally, mid-day on Wednesday January 8, Girona FC informed OM that they would have to wait until January 22 for the operation to materialize after their UCL match against AC Milan.

“Girona FC justified this position by an injury sustained by their third goalkeeper on their UEFA B list, Lucas Garcia, on Tuesday January 7 during training.”

With Samba having departed, RC Lens will now have to scramble for a new keeper ahead of their Ligue 1 match against Le Havre on Sunday.

Should they fail to secure a new stopper, deputy Herve Koffi will likely start.

Koffi, 28, made his first Ligue 1 appearance of the season last weekend in his side’s 1-0 home defeat to Toulouse.

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Herve Koffi was in action for RC Lens at the weekend[/caption]