Political hacks and pollsters alike are gearing up for Saturday’s State election. And while they’ve got the voting know-how down pat, do you?
Read More »
WA election 2025: How to make your vote count ahead of your time at the ballot box
Kim Kardashian’s sizzling new Skims Swim Shop drop includes animal-print bikinis and even a wet T-shirt
Dive in before styles fly off the shelves.
Read More »
What do you do with carrot tops, asks Meghan – well you hold his hand at Invictus Games to stop him catching javelins
HAVE you got the smell of desperation coming from Meghan Markle’s kitchen in California?
It’s tinged with the heavy fragrance of sycophancy and fawning.
And there’s a bitter after-taste you may also experience if you consume all eight episodes of Netflix’s With Love, Meghan, which is what happens when an under-employed actress spends too long watching old episodes of Nigella’s Cook, Eat, Repeat and The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills.
That is to say, it’s a cookery and lifestyle show, of sorts, up until episode five when it suddenly turns into a gardening show.
With the slightly weird twist being, Meghan’s flower arrangements look a lot more appetising than her food which would serve her far better if she wore it to the next Met Gala as Carmen Miranda.
Although, talking of bad fancy dress costumes, there’s precious little sign of Prince Harry here. It’s all about Meghan’s “friends.” She has lots of them, apparently.
Frozen-faced Hollywood clones
Terrified-looking creeps, for the most part, like Daniel, her make-up guy, who thinks he’s getting a sleepover, until he isn’t.
There’s also a couple of frozen-faced Hollywood clones called Kelly and Abigail, who look like they’ve just fled the latest White Lotus bloodbath, and a Korean chef called Roy Choi, who has so much in common with Her Ladyship.
“He’s from LA. I’m from LA.”
He likes dancing while he’s cooking.
She likes dancing while she’s cooking. “He loves donuts.” She married one.
And you better not forget she’s royalty either, or you’ll get the same treatment another “friend”, Mindy, received, in episode three, when she breached etiquette by saying: “I don’t think anyone in the world knows that Meghan Markle has eaten Jack In The Box (a US fast-food chain).”
“It’s funny,” replied Meghan, letting the world know she didn’t think it was remotely funny, “You keep saying ‘Meghan Markle’, you know I’m Sussex now. It’s our family name.”
With a passive-aggressive nightmare like that in charge, you can probably understand why the atmosphere on this show is so tense.
In fact, I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen such a strained or prolonged display of silent vegetable prepping in my life.
Eight episodes it lasts and the relentless “chop . . . chop . . . chop” is only ever broken by small talk, cut-away shots of Guy the dog, who is the real star of the show, and a whole load of Californian profundities, like: “The only difference between ritual and routine is intention.”
None of which should come as a surprise to anyone who has been following Meghan’s story closely, of course.
Nor should they be too flabbergasted to discover she cannot fake sincerity and has an unmatched ability to turn any compliment round to herself, even if it’s just aimed at a fecking cake: “’Cos you just don’t know how good she is until you go deep.”
She’s a liar and a limelight-chasing hypocrite who can’t act, host or offer TV anything more profound than the question: ‘What do you do with carrot tops outside of sharing them with the chickens?’
What did shock me a little was the discovery that the hostess with the mostest is actually an international class tightwad who thinks she’s doing “friends” a big favour by sending them home with a bag of homemade dog biscuits, yet is so divorced from reality she tosses out advice like: “You can get wax from your local beekeeper.”
It’s a desperately unattractive combination and makes for the exact opposite of good TV.
So how, then, did it ever make it on to Netflix?
Well, the only credible explanation I’ve got is it’s an act of deliberate self-sabotage by the streaming giant, designed to rid them of their disastrous £100million investment before she brings down the whole franchise.
I’ve no such crumb of comfort for Meghan, though.
The UK public who welcomed her to their hearts and got a lecture about racism, by return favour, has long since worked out she may well be the grifter of the century, but she’s also a liar and a limelight-chasing hypocrite who can’t act, host or offer TV anything more profound than the question: “What do you do with carrot tops outside of sharing them with the chickens?”
You hold their hand at the Invictus Games and try to stop him catching the javelins.
TV GOLD
BBC2’S brilliant Israel And The Palestinians: The Road To 7th October.
Kursk: 10 Days That Shaped Putin (Sky Showcase).
Supermarket singer Stacey Leadbetter out-performing all the ringers at Britain’s Got Talent.
Po-faced Gladiator Matthew “Legend” Morsia proving the perfect comedy foil for Lee Mack, Rob Brydon and David Mitchell on Would I Lie To You. Jason Isaacs torpedoing the Oscars, live on ITV.
And Jack Whitehall finally capturing the public mood, over two hours into The Brits: “This show has been going on so long Five have broken up again.”
GREAT SPORTING INSIGHTS
CLINTON MORRISON: “If Liverpool had an 80 per cent chance, after that game you’d give them another six and a 95 per cent chance.”
Simon Thomas: “Szoboszlai covers so much ground it’s like he’s got a fourth lung.”
And Terry Gibson: “I won’t say how many touches City had. They had 20.”
(Compiled by Graham Wray)
GREAT TV lies and delusions of the week. The Weakest Link, Glaswegian podcaster Susie McCabe: “I’m Susie and I’m a comedian and podcaster from Glasgow.”
The Brits, Jack Whitehall: “Little Mix reforming makes me so happy.”
With Love, Meghan Markle, cooking Korean food: “I’m going to put a lid on it.”
Promises promises.
RETREADS and ringers galore on the first two episodes of Britain’s Got Talent, where familiar-looking acts have included: Synchronised street-dancing from Obsequious, which has already been seen on World Supremacy Battlegrounds.
Nose dangling acrobatics, from Auzzy Blood, which has already been seen on six other talent shows.
And out-of-tune singing, from a stroppy Yorkshire pudding, which has already been seen from Mel B in the Spice Girls.
Give us something fresh.
FOR the 23rd year in a row, Sycophant Of The Year goes to ITV’s Oscars reporter Ross King, for this comprehensive red carpet greasing of singer Raye, right: “Class, absolute class.
“We’re so thrilled to have you here. I was wondering, ‘How’s she going to get here’?
“I thought, ‘the magic of Hollywood will get you here’, and you look so fresh, you look amazing.”
She looked ok.
LOOKALIKE OF THE WEEK
This week’s winner is Jamie Oliver and the forensic facial reconstruction of Mozart.
Sent in by Callum Milne, York
JASON’S TRUTH OSCAR
HERO of the week was White Lotus actor Jason Isaacs who dropped a ten-megaton truth bomb on the Oscars ten minutes into ITV’s live broadcast, on Sunday.
“I don’t think awards ceremonies are any good. I think they’re rubbish and have been for years. I think we should change almost everything to do with them.”
A statement so uncontestable, all host Jonathan Ross and the other guests could do, for the next 30 seconds, was laugh nervously.
If the outburst shocked them, though, it should’ve been no surprise it was delivered by Isaacs who, 24 hours earlier, had presented a Brit Award wearing a yellow Israeli hostage pin.
A gesture that, on the face of it, could be seen as just another celebrity virtue signal.
But, in a venue filled with some of the woke establishment’s loudest and dumbest supporters of the Palestinian cause, like Paloma Faith, Stormzy and Jade Thirlwall, and on an ITV broadcast where Danny Dyer was muted after being asked to swear by host Jack Whitehall, it was as close to an act of rock n’ roll rebellion as the event was ever likely to get.
A day later, he wasn’t done with the Oscars either and with three and a half hours of the ceremony still to go, he asked Jonathan Ross: “What’s the next award?”
“Animated feature.” “Right, I’m out.”
And with that, our hero vanished into the night. Job done.
AI COMEDY
THE Last Leg, Adam Hills: “We asked an AI programme to describe Josh Widdicombe’s style of comedy. It said . . . ”
Server error 404. Page not found.
Column returns March 21st.
UNEXPECTED MORONS IN THE BAGGING AREA
TIPPING POINT, Ben Shephard: “Florence Welch is the lead singer of the band Florence and the what?”
Medi: “Nightingales.”
Ben Shephard: “Sudamerica is the Spanish word for which of the world’s continents?”Medi: “Europe.”
And Impossible, where A)Linda Evangelista and C)Christy Turlington (correct) were possible answers to Rick Edwards’ question: “Which of the trio of supermodels known as ‘the trinity’ married actor Edward Burns in 2003?”
But contestant Ed chose: “B) Nicky Campbell.”
RANDOM TV IRRITATIONS
CHANNEL 4 confusing professional flasher Jordan Gray with a comedian. Every culturally sensitive imbecile on The Apprentice suddenly pronouncing Turkey as “Torquay-yah,” like Fawlty Towers had just hit the Sunday Times travel supplement.
And Last Leg host Adam Hills actually beginning a sentence with the words: “Donald Trump, Mr President, if you’re watching, we want to…”
Stop you there, Adam. He’s not.
Brother, 20, jailed for incest after having sex with his sister 21 times & then reporting HIMSELF to police
A 20-YEAR-OLD man has been jailed after being found guilty of having sex with his own sister 21 times.
The twisted family affair has rocked Germany ever since Lucas K. was put on trial over allegations of incest and rape – after he reported himself to police.
Lucas was sentenced to two years and nine months behind bars by Dresden Regional Court for the incest charges.
Prosecutors failed to convince the jury of a guilty verdict over the rape charges which Lucas has always denied.Dresden Regional Court
The public prosecutor had demanded Lucas spent another five years in prison for rape but the court said they had serious doubts over the sex being non-consensual.
Lucas grew up within the foster system and at the age of 18 was left to find a home by himself, German media reports.
To help him get onto his feet, his 33-year-old half sister is believed to have taken him in and let him stay at her apartment in Dresden in January 2023.
The siblings lived together with three dogs and several cats.
According to the prosecution, the first time the pair had sex happened shortly after Lucas first moved in.
The defendant alleges she was physically threatened on several occasions with Lucas even saying he would harm her dogs, a court heard.
Lucas is also alleged to have strangled and beaten her.
During this time the brother is said to have repeatedly assured his sister that he loved her and cared for her.
Lucas was accused of having sex with his older sibling over 20 times during the hearings.
The case was soon uncovered after the alleged victim threatened to report her brother of rape on July 26, 2024.
Lucas is said to have quickly called up the cops himself in order to clear his name and deny any rape claims against him.
The brother was soon arrested and placed into custody as police investigated the accusations as well as the incest charges.
During the trial, several witnesses came forward to speak on the relationship of the siblings.
Judge Andreas Ziegel said before he gave his final verdicts: “There were several witnesses who reported that the siblings acted like a couple.
“The family support service also had the same impression.”
Along with the witness statements, several other pieces of evidence also helped to get the rape charges dropped against Lucas.
It was also revealed that both Lucas and his sister slept in the same bed in the home.
The accuser never kicked Lucas out of the room during the time he had lived with her, the court heard.
Lucas had also openly boasted to his sister’s boyfriend that he “always had sex with her”, court documents showed.
Judge Ziegel continued: “These pieces of evidence have made us doubt that the sister really had sex with the defendant against her will.
“There was sex between them but whether it was consensual or not could not be conclusively determined.”
Lucas was still sentenced to a total of two years and nine months in prison for sexual intercourse between relatives.
His sentence also included charged stemming from other offences such as resisting law enforcement officers, property damage and bodily harm, Bild reports.
Lucas was reportedly aggressive towards the officers during his trial and arrest.
The public prosecutor’s office has not decided to charge the half-sister – who it believes is the victim – with sexual intercourse between relatives.
Germany's incest laws
IN Germany, incest is strictly prohibited by law under Section 173 of the German Criminal Code.
The law states that any sexual relations between close relatives comes under the law.
This applies to biological siblings – full or half-siblings – and parents and their biological children.
Anyone found guilty faces up to three years in prison or a fine.
The law does not apply to adoptive or step-relations.
The main reason behind the law is tied to protecting family structures as well as preventing potential genetic risks associated with inbreeding.
Many European countries don’t view incest as a crime however.
This includes France, Italy, the Netherlands, Portugal and Spain.
MAFS UK’s Nathan dating Love Island star weeks after reunion row with ex Lacey
MARRIED At First Sight Nathan Campbell has moved on from his marriage with Lacey Martin with a Love Island beauty.
The 24–year-old is quietly dating Abi Moores, who appeared on Love Island in 2023, after meeting earlier this year.
The pair teased their new romance today as she both shared pictures holding hands with a mystery person during a relaxing spa date.
Abi has also been keeping fans up to date with her dates on TikTok, without naming Nathan.
She has shared her past three meetings with him as they go from strength to strength.
It comes just days after Nathan’s very fiery reunion with Lacey aired during a MAFS special last week.
The pair were seen rowing and exchanging insults as they thrashed out the details of their failed marriage.
And during the explosive show Nathan revealed why he split from his show bride.
Catching up with former co-star Kieran Chapman, Nathan said: “After the experiment she was completely different.
“I was going to see her every weekend, she never came to see me once in the whole relationship, never.”
He explained that the relationship “felt one-sided” and she found excuses to not visit him on weekends.
After arriving at the dinner party and reuniting with some of the boys, Nathan explained why he and Lacey decided to call it quits.
He said: “She just decided it was better to be mates, it was a bit one-sided. It goes into something that’s not genuine.”
Man dies in Wetherspoons after paramedics desperately tried to save him as Brighton Marina pub evacuated
A MAN has died inside a Wetherspoons pub.
West Quay Wetherspoons at Brighton Marina has confirmed a man died inside the pub this afternoon.
Customers were evacuated from the building around 4.30 pm.
The pub remains closed.
A spokesperson said: “Unfortunately we have had a death in the pub. The paramedics tried to save him however were unsuccessful.
“Due to the circumstances it was very stressful on the team, the pub is closed, the team looked after and sent home.
“The plan is to re-open once the evening team come on to shift in an hour or two’s time.”
Defence Forces member is victim of alleged serious assault at army barracks outside Dublin as major probe launched
A PROBE is under way after the alleged serious assault of a Defence Forces member at a barracks outside Dublin.
The investigation was launched by the Gardai and the Defence Forces after a soldier claimed he witnessed the alleged assault of a colleague.
After witnessing the alleged incident, the matter was reported to the Defence Forces, while Gardai were then made aware of the allegation.
No arrests have been made as part of the investigation.
We also understand no official complaint has been made at this stage.
The alleged victim is also receiving support from the Defence Forces.
Investigators intend to speak to the alleged victim and other witnesses over the coming days.
One soldier told us: “The incident is the talk of the place but there are a lot of false rumours out there.
“The main priority is to make sure the soldier who was allegedly assaulted is keeping OK.”
A spokesperson for the Defence Forces said: “The investigation by Military Police and An Garda Siochana is ongoing and it would be inappropriate to comment at this stage.”
The Garda Press Office was not in a position to comment on the alleged incident.
Ben Simmons asks nearly $17M for Brooklyn home as he heads to the Clippers — see inside
Simmons is saying goodbye to his Olympia Dumbo tower condo, which comes with a custom shoe closet.
Read More »
Cal Fire chief’s wife allegedly sent chilling text to friend before body found: ‘We had a fight… I hurt her’
"Becky came home and told me she was leaving me, she met someone else, all the messages were lies. We had a big fight and I hurt her... I'm sorry," Olejniczak messaged her friend.
Read More »
Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards discusses the importance of books while being honored in CT
Appearing in a building of books instead of a stadium with amps, Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards was honored on March 5 with a new award that recognizes Connecticut residents for their creativity, passion and generosity. Richards, 81, who is British, has kept a home in Connecticut since 1985. He became the first recipient of...
Read More »