Being in a relationship is like choosing the right shoe size. Not everyone has the same shoe size, just as no two relationship are identical. Our interests, values, and goals differ, making it essential to choose someone who aligns with or complements you—someone you can work or team up with.
Wearing the wrong shoe size causes discomfort, just as being in the wrong relationship does. You wouldn’t want to wear shoes that don’t fit and end up walking barefoot. Similarly, you wouldn’t want to be in a relationship that makes you feel as though you are single.
Being single means you are solely responsible for yourself, even during times of need. There’s no one to depend on or share your life with. Your happiness is entirely in your own hands.
However, when you choose to be in a relationship, it’s about sharing your life with someone else. You want to be there for them, just as they should be there for you—especially during difficult times.
Unfortunately, many people are in relationships but fail to be present when their partner needs them. It’s not because they lack the ability to be there; they are simply self-centred and indifferent to their partner’s needs.
This behaviour undermines the very purpose of a relationship. Being there for your partner goes beyond material support; it also involves meeting their emotional needs. If you are in a relationship but cannot make time to share your life with your partner—no shared interests, activities, or quality time—you’re essentially acting single. When work, projects, and personal activities consistently take precedence, your actions suggest you’re prioritising your own life over the relationship.
If you are too busy to share your life or unwilling to support someone in their time of need, then you have no business being in a relationship. Stay single and focus on yourself. Don’t keep someone in your life solely for your convenience—where you reach out to them when you need support but disappear when they need you.
In conclusion, remember: “A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.” – Proverbs 11:25 (NIV).
Frank Edem Adofoli (Counselor Adofoli)
Counsellor, ADR Practitioner, Conference Speaker & Author.
CEO, The Marriage Consult LTD.
The post Counselor Adofoli Writes: In a relationship, but acting single appeared first on MyNewsGh.
