Hollywood lawsuits are usually about money, power, and bruised egos, but rarely do they also involve… anatomy lessons. Yet here we are, watching Blake Lively, Ryan Reynolds, and Justin Baldoni take It Ends With Us from the big screen to the courtroom, and somehow, the drama has escalated beyond defamation claims to include parts of the human body that really don’t belong in legal documents.
First, let’s set the stage for this mess. Baldoni filed a countersuit on January 16, claiming extortion and defamation in response to Lively’s sexual harassment and retaliation allegations against him.
On January 31, 2025, Baldoni decided to raise the stakes by filing a $400 million lawsuit against Lively and Reynolds. He then also launched a website with the amended filing along with alleged images of conversations via text.
As this battle heads toward the courtroom, there’s a lot to unpack. And yet, amidst all the heavy accusations, there’s one detail that threatens to derail the entire trial into full-blown absurdity, a certain text message from Ryan Reynolds that brings us to our next, uh, delicate topic.
Ryan Reynolds’ very specific offer
Ladies and gentlemen, get ready for what could be the most awkward courtroom moment in Hollywood history. Imagine a room full of serious lawyers, a no-nonsense judge, and Blake Lively sitting stone-faced as someone reads out loud a text in which Ryan Reynolds, an A-list actor, billionaire entrepreneur, and part-time Deadpool, casually discusses his perineum.
Yes, you read that right. According to Justin Baldoni’s website, there is an alleged image of a text Reynolds sent Baldoni, this now-infamous message reads,
All this to say, I’d have your line producer’s face tattooed to my perineum if he/she/they can figure out how to start two weeks earlier. Completely understand how big of an ask that is. But the perineum is one of the most nervy parts of the human body to expose to trauma. So…
A few things to unpack here, what level of desperation leads someone to offer up their perineum as a bargaining chip? Who is this line producer, and how do they feel about their face being mentioned in this context? Most importantly, how on earth will the prosecution argue this in a straight face?
Picture the scene, a legal team pulling up an anatomical diagram, the judge rubbing their temples, and the stenographer questioning every life decision that led them to this moment. Meanwhile, Baldoni’s attorneys will absolutely use this text to humiliate Reynolds, probably blowing it up on a giant courtroom projector as Blake Lively tries to keep a straight face.
Blake Lively goes from Gossip Girl to Courtroom Cringe
Let’s take a moment to appreciate the real victim here, Blake Lively. She signed up to be an actress, businesswoman, and fashion icon, not to sit through a courtroom debate over her husband’s nether regions.
There she’ll be, dressed to perfection, nodding along to complex legal arguments about defamation, only to suddenly hear a lawyer ask, “Now, Mr. Reynolds, could you please clarify the nature of your perineum tattoo proposition?“
At that moment, you just know Lively will have a flashback to simpler times when her biggest scandal was a Gossip Girl plot twist, not this. Meanwhile, Reynolds, ever the professional, will probably smirk and say something sarcastic, which will only make things worse.
And let’s not forget the jury. These poor twelve souls, who probably thought they’d be ruling on a normal Hollywood dispute, will now have to sit through hours of testimony about whether Reynolds’ perineum joke was a harmless quip or a sign of unprofessional behavior. They’ll emerge from this trial forever changed. Whether Reynolds and Lively win or lose, the true loss is having to hear the word perineum that many times in a court of law.
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