Lately, it seems like every day we’re experiencing a disheartening resurgence in toxic masculinity. From bullying behavior in the White House, to podcast bros and influencers, to Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg’s recent comments that today’s corporate world is “culturally neutered” and that we should “celebrate the aggression” and bring “masculine energy” back to the workforce, it seems to be everywhere we look. It’s a shift that does a huge disservice not only to women and girls but to boys and men as well — which is why Alexis Ohanian’s new call to “trash the toxic playbook” is like a breath of much-needed fresh air.
The Reddit founder took to Instagram to address this phenomenon: “There has been a tremendous void for a lot of young men who feel disempowered, who feel lost, unsupported, and it’s been filled by a lot of creators who are promoting some pretty toxic ideas around masculinity,” he said in a video post.
As the mother of four boys myself, I’ve spent many cumulative hours mulling over the worrisome shift toward this harmful brand of masculinity (and trying my absolute best to counteract it at home). And in working on SheKnows’ insightful “Be a Man” series, I had the opportunity to hear not only from experts on the subject of toxic masculinity but from the boys whose generation often seems to be absorbing it. When we played a word association game with teenage members of our Gen Z council, 75 percent of the respondents — and an even bigger majority of the boys, specifically — agreed that “strong” was a masculine trait (both figuratively and literally; the physical ideal of “manliness” has an impact on boys as well). Other words overwhelmingly classified as masculine were “violent” and “toxic.”
“If you’ve been told that ‘being a man’ means only caring about yourself, you’ve been lied to,” Ohanian continued in the caption of his post. He says he started his podcast, Business Dad, to resist the (all-too-common) narrative that “success” for men just means dominating in the corporate world. The goal of the podcast is to show successful men from many different industries who have also embraced the more tender side of fatherhood. “There is a healthier way to show masculinity that is all about ideas of excellence and greatness,” he concluded. “Not just in the work that we do, but the families we build.”
Ohanian has long been outspoken about his views on the meaning of masculinity — not least of all, because he’s married to powerhouse tennis legend Serena Williams, with whom he shares daughters Olympia, 7, and Adira, 1. In 2019, he wrote an op-ed for The New York Times about the importance of paternity leave, slamming the stigma that largely keeps men from taking it.
“Men are conditioned to be breadwinners, exclusively — and another mouth to feed calls for more bread on the table (to say nothing of college tuition) — so off to work we go,” he wrote. “Our sense of duty is often fear-based: Men assume their bosses will frown on paternity leave, so we don’t dare to go there.”
And when right-wing commentator Jason Whitlock took to X calling Ohanian a “beta male” (over his post defending his wife, Williams, from criticism of her onstage appearance during Super Bowl LIX), Ohanian fired back, shutting it down with a perfectly-worded retort.
“You’re the embodiment of peaked in high school, spending decades chasing validation from strangers through Likes and Digital Hugs, only to find that no amount of external approval fills the void,” he responded, adding, “You’ll find that if you wake up every morning trying to be a little better, a little more curious, you won’t have time for irrational hating — you’ll be too busy winning.”
Ohanian’s views on modern masculinity are refreshing to hear, but that in itself is pretty sad — seeing as his opinion should be the norm, not the exception. We can only hope that by using his platform to speak out against toxic masculinity, he will inspire and embolden other men to follow suit.
