CHECKING the sisters she was babysitting were sleeping soundly, nursery school teacher Katy Bampton quietly snuck away and joined their parents downstairs for a cup of tea.
“I thought we were just going to chat about how their girls had behaved and if bathtime went well,” Katy, 32, says. “But the conversation suddenly turned from nappies to something much naughtier.”
The nursery school teacher was used to faking orgasms and ‘barely having sex’[/caption]
Katy, from Prestyn, North Wales, adds: “Sat in their posh living room, this nice professional couple revealed they fancied me, and they wanted me to join them at a swingers’ party… I felt quite blindsided.
“I was a naive nursery worker, who was not only barely having sex but having bad sex.”
Single Katy says her shock increased 10-fold because at that point in January 2020, then aged 27, she had been faking orgasms for seven years after experiencing just a few “mediocre” ones.
She hadn’t always been completely ‘orgasm free’.
However, she didn’t climax the first time she had sex aged 18, while studying for A-Levels, and was later left disappointed by the handful of experiences she did have.
‘It was a quick fumble’
“A friend and I were revising,” she says of her first time.
“He was a mate but while poring over our books we started kissing and had sex.
“I didn’t orgasm and neither did he. It was a quick fumble but we both agreed afterwards we were no longer virgins.”
At that point, unconcerned she hadn’t climaxed, Katy moved to France shortly afterwards to work as a gym instructor.
There, aged 20, she met a man, aged 21, who she began dating casually.
The ‘big O’ hit for the first time – but it was sadly more of a whimper than a storm.
“I didn’t know what it was,” she says. “It was a weird tingling. I felt embarrassed by it. It was pretty basic.”
She had a few more, but nothing impressive, and shortly afterwards they stopped for years during which time she moved to Australia.
Now, she attributes her lack of fun in the bedroom to poor sex education at schools in the UK which focused entirely on how not to get pregnant, and not on women enjoying themselves.
“My sex education was almost that of a 1950s’ housewife – I was told to ‘lay back and think of England’,” she says.
“I had no idea I was allowed to enjoy sex.
“I was too embarrassed to even ask my friends about it. I thought sex was something you did for men.”
Fake it ’til you make it
Over the years, Katy came to terms with her mediocre sex life and had relationships but during sex she faked orgasms.
“Between 2013 and 2020 my love life was not successful,” she says. “I read in magazines what an orgasm was.
“I realised my weird tingly feeling at 20 meant I had experienced one – but during those seven years I couldn’t manage one again.
The ‘oohing’ and ‘aahing’ I was doing was Oscar-worthy, but I would climb out from under the sheets completely unsatisfied
Katy Bampton
“The men I was dating were climaxing – I was not.
“But, I had learnt – having seen it on TV and in films – how to fake it.
“They wouldn’t have known. The ‘oohing’ and ‘aahing’ I was doing was Oscar-worthy, but I would climb out from under the sheets completely unsatisfied.
“Men’s pleasure took priority over my own and I fell into the rut of pleasing them, not me, and assuming I was doing something wrong.”
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‘Never-ending’ orgasm drought
Katy says it got to the point where she felt she couldn’t broach the topic with boyfriends, who weren’t aware of how unsatisfied she was.
“I did not know what to do,” she says.
“My life was boring in the bedroom and my orgasm drought seemed never-ending.”
So, when the couple suggested swinging – something she had never considered – she agreed.
“The word ‘yes’ coming out of my mouth was as much to my surprise as theirs,” she says.
“I was willing to try anything to discover what real pleasure felt like.
“I loved working as a teacher, ran after-school PE clubs and was really happy.
“But I needed a better sex life.”
Swinging back into sex
Three weeks after the couple’s invitation she visited a swingers’ club in Queensland.
“I was petrified,” says Katy. “They had told me what to expect. I knew there was no pressure on me to do anything.
“I learnt the lingo including ‘soft play’, code for kissing, touching and oral sex, and ‘hard play’, code for penetrative sex.
Some people were dancing and others were kissing and fondling each other and there was a cool buzz in the air – it was not icky
Katy Bampton
“I was wearing high-waisted, figure-hugging trousers and heels. I had spent ages choosing my outfit.
“I felt sexy and other guests were in similar outfits. It was a far cry from my nursery teacher’s look.
“I was not expecting to join in. But I didn’t want to look like a geek or a swinging tourist.”
The moment Katy walked into the club she “felt at ease”.
“Some people were dancing and others were kissing and fondling each other and there was a cool buzz in the air – it was not icky,” she says.
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Pure pleasure
After watching from the bar, Katy soon found herself with the couple.
“It all happened really naturally,” she says. “The couple were attractive and when they started kissing me, I started kissing back.
“It didn’t feel weird they employed me. I was so innocent but they changed everything.
“We moved to a private room and what followed was a lovely hour of touching, kissing and pleasuring each other.
I remember feeling an orgasm explode in me. The first in seven years. It was amazing
Katy Bampton
“There was no full sex but being with them made my body relax.
“I remember feeling an orgasm explode in me. The first in seven years. It was amazing.
“Having two people focus on me meant I was lost in the moment. It was pure pleasure.
“I had to take that leap of faith and am so glad I did.”
‘Overwhelmed’ by orgasms
That night Katy also by chance met Rob – the man she would go on to marry.
She says: “When we made love after our first date he focused on my needs before his.
“For more than two years we enjoyed swinging and an adventurous love life together.”
For sometime the couple stayed in Australia, swinging, but moved to Thailand after they split in January 2023, where Katy still lives.
“I left him and moved to a retreat centre and started a detox,” she says. “I wanted to detox my body.
“The party lifestyle had taken its toll. I went from faking orgasms to being overwhelmed by them. I needed to find the happy medium.”
Katy meditated, detoxed from alcohol and ate healthy foods.
A happy ending
She has realised what she really wants – to be a wife and mother in a healthy relationship.
“I’ve worked through my sexual demons,” she says. “I had tried the boring life, and the wild sex life.
“I’m currently celibate and have been for 14 months. But I still enjoy orgasms on my terms and by myself.
“I self pleasure… I don’t need anyone else to show me a good time.”
Now, Katy is passing on her orgasm knowledge and runs the global School of Sensuality.
“I faked orgasms for too long,” she says. “I am here to teach women and men how to find their version of sexy and pleasure.”
*Additional reporting: Alley Einstein
